Begotton

Begotton. Begotton. Begotton. Best movie ever. "makes Earaserhead look like Earnst saves Christmas" according to the trailer. Watch it Watch it Watch it. Feels like a nightmare. Beautiful. if it confuses you, read the wikipedia page, it clears thing up alot. You have to watch the enitre thing though.

Love J

Happiness

Exams started today. i need to start studying. on my way home from my English exam, i saw an elderly man playing tennis with whom i assume was his grandson. the look in the man's eyes made me feel so happy. i haven't felt that happy in such a long time.

(self portraits. i need to get a tripod. i don't quite like using a stack of stephn king books and VHS movies as one.)

Grass and Bugs

I went for a walk today around town. took a lot of pictures. i promised myself i would take a picture of eerything i thought was beautiful. i did. i was rubbing my bare feet (yes, i walked with no shoes) and the a billion earwigs ran out. my mind was somewhere else at that point, so it didn't matter. what was your first tattoo? i want some. a whole court of boys plying bascet ball stopped and stared at me. who would want to stare at me??? the trees and the light were stunning. i have no pictures from it that i can't upload to this computer, so i only have some older ones for you.

I wish life was like it was in Marilyn Manson music videos. strange, horribly beautiful, and disgustingly romantic. I would have a macabre lover to keep me company. We wouldn't be human, creatures in some human body, sunken eyes, cracked lips, and broken lipstick acrossmy face, dried and chipped. We would be forever.

Life would be screaming and crawling on all fours, painted a different colour. life would be beautiful. Love would be raw and emotions nonexistant. killing legalized.

I dreamt of these worlds every nbight. Slow motion. outside of  my dreams, everything was black, solif. i wanted liquid, things with motions, like water, i needed things to be alive. things didn't have to be real in my world, you didn't have to be able to touch them for them to exist. everything was colour, blinding colour that could see, feel, colous that molested your eyes through yourclosed lids while you twitched in your sleep. these were my dreams.

I got my luckbox, do you?

Something about Twiggy.... i like his dress in the dope hat. green, pink stockings and a white colour black. good lord, that sounds so funny! ( i want that man's dresses!)

like blood and water

I've been painting more in watercolours with sharper scratchy guitar solo colours that melt together. i try to explain how my head works to other oeopl, then they just get more and more confused, so i paint. influenced by marilyn manson, his stlye is always what i try to explain to peopl. his art is how my mind works. shhh. don't tell my family, i love everything he does.

The one on the bottom right is my favourite out of all of his works. such an inspiration.